5 Signs It’s Time to Work on Becoming Your Best Self

For most people, we don’t begin life focused on becoming our best self. In fact, it’s not even a blip on our radar screen through our teens and twenties. The following are some signals that it may be time to start your journey towards wholeness.

1. You start questioning “Is this all there is?”
Somewhere in your late twenties or early thirties, you get to a point where you find yourself asking “It this all there is?”. Interestingly enough, it doesn’t seem to matter if you have achieved the milestones of adulthood or not. Whether you’re married, in a job you love, being productive and feeling good about yourself or not, I’ve never met anyone that hasn’t asked that question eventually. Things are good, but you are always aware that “something” is missing, although you probably don’t have a clue what it is.

2. You regularly do things that make you uncomfortable or out of sorts.
As you go through life, you find yourself in situations or making choices that make you uncomfortable. As a rule, that kind of response usually comes from being out of integrity. Before I became familiar with the concept of living “in” integrity, I was just aware of not being, but wanting to be, true to myself. Unfortunately though, if we aren’t aware of who we are and what we stand for, it is very difficult to be comfortable with ourselves. While we can definitely feel discomfort, we are usually clueless as to what is causing it.

3. You feel like others control all aspects of your life.
One of the biggest signals that it is time to start travelling towards wholeness is that you are totally oblivious of any responsibility you have for what’s already present in your life. Whether a victim or a child (where others look after you in a positive way), you give up all accountability for your life. Allowing yourself to feel like a victim or child permits you to do nothing to change your life.

4. Certain people have the ability to make you see red or push your buttons.
Part of the lack of control one might feel is displayed in the extreme emotional responses we have to certain people. We become so focused on being right that any opposition feels like a personal attack by people out to “get” you. That choice to be ‘right’, or rather, the need to be ‘right’, comes out of the need to not be wrong. Most people in this situation are not aware that there are multiple viable options. There is only ‘their way’ and the ‘wrong way’. This is actually an exhausting way to live, as we tend to stay in a defensive, self-protective mode.

5. You never seem to get over your negative emotions, especially anger and guilt.
Related to Signal 4, you find yourself spending a lot of time with your negative emotions. It’s not enough to experience these emotions, which we should acknowledge as legitimate. We tend to stay in those emotions and allow them to take over our lives. We go around saying “we never get angry” when the truth is that we’re always angry. It’s just the start and finish that we never do. Dwelling on such negative feelings does not make for a happy camper. Again, this is a great indication it’s time ask the question “Is this all there is?”

BOLA TANGKAS