Barack Obama Becomes Shaolin Kung Fu Master!

Okay, he hasn’t become a Master of Shaolin yet, but he should! Look, the mess our country is in, all of our representatives, and even the unelected officials, should take lessons in the martial arts. And it is this writer’s advice that our top dog become a Master of the Shaolin Butterfly so he can defend himself against people like radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh!

When I was undergoing the hazards of fatherhood, I learned a neat trick. When my sons wanted to borrow money, go to the movies, and that sort of thing, I made them freestyle me. If they won, they went, if I won, they did the yardwork! Though they were the younger generation, I had decades of martial arts, and in this sneaky way I reigned supreme as a father should!

Compare raising know best, won’t listen children to telling know best, won’t listen politicians what to do, and you will see the logic of my method. Simply, when that politician wants to pass that law, tell him he must freestyle you first. When he gets caught with that slinky babe speeding in ginjoint, make him freestyle you.

Politicians won’t want to do this, of course, but they must be made to obey. I mean, the alternative would be revolution, and we don’t want that! So my method is a wonderful gimmick that works.

Now, as to Barack Obama, I believe he should undergo a study of the Shaolin Butterfly. Number one, no offense to our top dog, but he’s a skinny dude. When some elephant like Rush Limbaugh takes him to task, Barack will have a means to defend himself.

The Shaolin Butterfly specializes in quick steps to the side, it uses the Matrixing Technology of the Martial Arts to get out of the way. Then, circling the fists like a buzzsaw on crack, Obama could slide in with a blistering series of dim mak death strikes. Man, Rush would roll over like a bad dog!

Of course, if Rush knew what was good for him, he could study up on Butterfly Kung Fu and then he would know what Barack was planning. Then he would stand a chance, and the battle for health care, or whatever, would become a battle royal. Let me tell you, what I am proposing here is brilliant, for a knuckle on the snout is harder to lie about than the economy!

Okey doke, I think we’ve about said it all here. Stop voting, and start studying the Martial Arts, if not the butterfly, then Aikido or Pa Kua, or just good old fashioned Karate! Know this, if Barak Obama was a real Shaolin Kung Fu Master…this country wouldn’t be in half the trouble it is in!