Becoming Your Best Self – Stop Seeing Life As All Or Nothing

So often in life, we find ourselves viewing life in an all or nothing, black or white mode. You know what I mean. You miss the green light by 30 seconds and suddenly your whole life is a negative mass of failure and defeat. You hang your head down and wonder what’s the point of going on. Everything you try. like trying to make that green light . just doesn’t work and you are doomed to failure. Ever been there?

Not only do we sometimes view our own life that way, but we put certain expectations on others’ behavior and view that with our black or white filters. Very few things in life really fit into this category. And this kind of thinking definitely complicates your life.

If you find yourself going down the all or nothing road, here are two possible things you can do.

Stand back far enough to see the forest. Put that green light into perspective. How many green lights have you gone through in your life? How many more are you likely to go through. On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is that green light? Take a deep breath, allow yourself to smile at yourself, and continue down the road.
Another option is to give yourself 5 minutes to “go with it”. Starting with the green light, you have 5 minutes to bring this situation down the worst possible road possible. Throw in every possible negative thing you can. At the end of 5 minutes, take a long, deep slow breath. It sometimes feels like all the cobwebs have been shaken off. Good, now look at the green light and you’ll be surprised how difficult it is to see missing it in a negative light. Try it! [Obviously, you don’t want to sit at the light to do this exercise, especially not here in Boston!]
BOLA TANGKAS