A divorce is hard on every family member, even the dog. Once it is finalized, the hard work is really just beginning. You still have to crawl out of bed every morning and face the day. You have to force yourself to put a smile on your face for your child and prove to them that everything will be ok. It is also important to reassure them that the divorce had nothing to do with them, their behavior or their grades in school. You also have to work out a schedule with your former spouse, preferably using custody software, that suits everyone’s schedule and needs.
It really would be easier to stay angry with your ex-spouse, to use your child as a weapon against them or to spy on them. Unfortunately, many parents never come to terms with the concept of co-parenting and continue to live a life full of resent. Doing so is not only unhealthy for you but it makes the entire transition that much harder for the child. If a child sees both parents relatively happy and well-adjusted after a divorce, they will follow suit. Some parents even use child custody software to create a buffer zone between them and their former spouse to avoid any unnecessary emotions or mind games.
In fact, actually being considerate and flexible with your ex-partner can be huge in terms of becoming a better co-parenting team, which is the ultimate goal of any divorced parents. The first step towards achieving this can be the use of custody software to easily communicate changes in your schedule and that of your child. Change requests are logged into the system, whether you need to switch weekends or ballet class was moved to Thursday nights, and automatically sent to the other parent through e-mail or a text. This instantly removes any emotion and possible confrontation from the schedule adjustment.
Divorce is a sad, stressful experience affecting everyone involved in the prior relationship, especially children. Coming to an understanding with your former spouse that your child is the most important person in your lives should be easy. Both of you can at least agree that you love and want the best for your child. If you can’t have open, honest communication with them yet, use custody software and any other means necessary to make the best of the situation. Eventually, continued civility may help you reach a new, better place in your relationship. BOLA TANGKAS
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