There are probably many of you reading this who are frustrated in your attempts to become a life coach and attract clients. Understandably so. It’s not that easy when you begin. Many of you wonder if you’ll even make it, if you can sustain your business, if you can have the type of influence you want in your life coaching practice. Many of you have this nagging feeling inside that life coaching just won’t work for you.
There are probably many of you who have been trying to grow for years. You’ve seen little improvements, but you still don’t have the money or the results you want. No matter what you do, it just doesn’t seem to work. You can’t attract clients consistently. If this is you, then this article is written specifically for how to overcome and transform this situation.
The reason most life coaches fail isn’t because they can’t do it or because there are no clients or because it just won’t work for them or because they’ve tried and failed. NO! The reason life coaches fail is because they have certain mental and emotional patterns that do not support being successful as a life coach. Feelings of not being good enough. Having no value to give. Feeling worthless. Feeling like you need money to feel good about yourself and so forth. Patterns are the only thing stopping you. Emotional patterns. Nothing else. According to Tony Robbins, the biggest reason coaches fail is because they try to create something new over the top of their current emotional patterns. And you have to interrupt the pattern and destroy it before you can move on.
I like to equate it to facing the monster in the closet. As a little kid, you may have thought there was a monster in the closet. It sure felt scary. You didn’t want to open the door. In fact, you avoided it like crazy. And you may have even decorated the closet door, put a chest of drawers in front of it, and laid your clothes on the floor just so you didn’t have to go into the closet. Most people live their lives this way. They never face the monster in the closet. The monster in the closet is all of your current emotional patterns, fears, frustrations that you’ve been avoiding and don’t want to deal with. And these are your feelings of not being worthy or good enough.
How could you ever be successful if you didn’t feel good enough to begin with? And you think getting more money will solve that, but it won’t. The feelings are still there. Not facing the monster in your adult life is like giving up on your hopes and dreams and doing what you don’t want to do because you won’t face the monster inside.
The obvious solution is to open the closet door and face the monster because you realize nothing is there. You realize you were good enough the whole time. The question is how do you get the courage to face the monster and to overcome it? How do you overcome your fears?
You’ll need the following weapons to defeat the monster. First, you’ll need a load of willingness and courage. By willingness, I mean you march right to that closet door and you face it. No matter how scary, no matter how impossible, no matter how frustrating, no matter how overwhelming, no matter how humiliating. You go to the door.
The second thing you’ll need is lots of repetition and practice. You may go to the door and be beaten back many times. You have to learn to go there over and over, especially when it feels like you’re not making progress. Many people in this situation want to have results right now. They want the results without doing the necessary work. They want something for nothing. So you have to learn to be OK with not getting results right now. You have to embrace facing the monster, even though you can’t see the end in sight. And you have to do it over and over.
The reason why is because breaking the pattern in your emotions and reconditioning your emotions takes time. You’ve been thinking and feeling certain patterns for decades and they have a lot of momentum. To write in new patterns requires experiencing those new feelings over and over and breaking up the old patterns consistently until they’re not there any longer.
The third step is to get some help. It’s very difficult to do this by yourself. Usually your parents would walk you to the closet door to help. Getting support is a huge factor in your success. If you keep doing this and have the courage to keep going at it, you will succeed.
The last thing you need is to be open to the possibility that you can defeat the monster. You must believe that it can be done. If you can’t believe, then you must always stay open to the possibility of believing. And that’s all you need to defeat the monster. To know or to be open to knowing you can do it. That maybe at some point in the future you’ll have the capacity to do it. Because deep down, you know you can do it. You truly know that you have the capacity even if you haven’t seen the results. And that’s all you need to defeat the monster and become a successful life coach. Good luck on your journey! BOLA TANGKAS