Friends! ……………….

“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.”

A man who loves solitude is either a beast or an angel but it seems to be half true. Love of being isolated is indeed a symptom of a person’s beastly nature, but it can seldom be a mark of godliness, unless it is a part of the renunciation of the world for higher spiritual meditation.

Solitude has a wider implication that, what people generally believe it to have, for, an individual may feel lonely in a crowd, in the absence of affection. To a friendless man the world may be a wilderness. Friendship helps a man firstly to disburden his heart and secondly to clear the understanding. It helps us to ventilate those secret feelings, desires and frustrations, which would, if suppressed within the heart, cause melancholy. Feelings and emotions, if accumulated, ‘eat’ the heart and destroy health, a friend ensures an outlet for these pent up feelings and gives us the way of Catharsis.

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same”. What is a “best friend”? Almost everyone has one, and almost everyone is one. There’s something about a best friend that cannot be duplicated. Everyone has their own definition of what their own best friend is like and what an impact he or she has made in their life. Lets take a better look at some of the simple things that we might take for granted when we think of our best friends. A best friend is a title held for the few and privileged. The term cannot be thrown around loosely. Not just anyone can be called your best friend. A best friend has to first meet several qualifications and have many outstanding characteristics to have the honor of holding such a prestigious title. Being a best friend is more than someone that you’ve seen everyday and grown up with. A best friend can be someone with whom you’ve known since childhood but can also be someone that you’ve just met. The true definition of a best friend is someone that knows you inside out and could go through thick n thin.

Friend increases joy even as it lessens the intensity of grief. When we talk to friends our ideas take better shape and everything becomes clearer moreover arranged in order, whereas before, we felt our thoughts were confused, muddled and vague.

A good friend helps us to improve our conduct, demeanor and avoid follies and mistakes, because a friendly advice is unbiased, thus reliable and pleasant at the same time.

Being among number of people does not dispel loneliness, for the faces around ‘one’ are as impersonal and cold as those ‘one’ can see in the picture gallery, obviously one cannot establish any human contact with them. Similarly, talking with a number of people is as meaningless as the sounds produced by striking cymbals; there is no love or sympathy involved, whereas these very emotions lend meaning and value to a conversation and this can only happen between friends.

Aloneness means the absence of friends, rather than the absence of people. Friendship can be compared to a tapestry, the beautiful designs of a tapestry can be seen clearly only when the cloth is unfolded and spread out. In the same way the ideas of man acquire a clear shape only when they are converted into words and heard by a trustworthy friend. Unexpressed thoughts lie in a perplexed state inside one’s mind, just like the figures of a tapestry when it lies packed up.

Discussion with a friend clarifies things. Speaking out one’s ideas even to a dull friend who, is unable to give advice or guidance sharpens one’s mind, because this friend serves as a whetstone for the man’s mind which is like the razor, as a whetstone is not itself sharp but it serves to sharpen the knife or razor. In the same way the friend may be dull but still talking to him/her sharpens the intellect.

People often commit terrible mistakes because they do not have sincere friends to bring them to an awareness of what they are doing, and as a result suffer loss of prosperity and reputation. These men lack self-knowledge, they are like those men who look into the mirror but are not able to really see what they are like, and others have to tell them what they really are. Such people are badly in need of a true friend who by timely criticism and sincere admonition will give them correct guidance.

There are two dangers of consulting different persons on different matters, one is that a man will not receive fair and unbiased advice but will have some personal ends in view and his advice will be perverted to suit those ends. It is only a reliable and sincere friend who will give unselfish advice, keeping in mind only the interests of his/her friend who asked for the same.

The other danger is that the advice may be partly useful and partly harmful, even if given with the best of intention can go into awry. Because a person who is unacquainted with a man’s nature cannot give him advice, which is fully beneficial, as he is taking things in different perspective.

Often in search of good friends we commit terrible mistakes by trusting on an unreliable person. But every person can’t be judged in the same criterion as different people react in diverse ways even in the same set of circumstances. Hasty opinions about everyone can prove otherwise in the long run, as appearances are always deceptive. Some people are in the habit of changing friends weekly or by fortnight, after meeting someone and exchanging few words, one cannot claim friendship with anyone. Once you call someone a ‘friend’ then his/her all merits and demerits should be accepted whole-heartedly. At length we have to agree with the same proverbial “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”

BY

EMMA ALAM
ADU BANTENG
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