Can an affair help your marriage or do you long to go back to the way it used to be before the infidelity happened? It’s sad but sometimes an affair can be a wake up call to fix what is broken. This is not to say that infidelity is acceptable because it is not, no matter what the excuse. But what it does is to force you to take a hard look at what your marriage really was like. You can use the affair as a means to catapult you to a better more fulfilling marriage.
You maybe experiencing a lot of different emotions and wish you could go back just so you wouldn’t have to think of the betrayal day after day. But do you really want to? True, you will always cherish certain memories of your past, there will always be the good times that you had together as a couple. For better or worse, your marriage will never be the same again. The infidelity has irrevocably altered the course of your relationship and your life.
You’ll never forget the affair, but what’s done is done. You can’t changed the past. You will always have that scar, no matter what. What you can do is to work to heal your marriage. In time it will no longer be so emotionally crippling for you. You will probably still have my moments, but those bad moments will be much fewer and further apart. And when it does hit you, it will no longer have the power to keep you down for long.
If you and your spouse do the necessary work (through counseling or other affair help options) to heal your marriage and actually make the needed changes, then most likely you will turn the marriage into a relationship that is better than ever and certainly better than the way it used to be before the affair occurred.
To get to the place in your marriage where you feel safe and secure again, you’ll need to give up the idea that you are going to go back to how it was before the affair. Only then can you commit to the work necessary to make your marriage far better in the future. With the right affair help, whether it be through counseling, books or other means, you will be able to move forward and further away from the raw pain your feeling. Yes, it can and does get easier if you both really work on it. If you both take appropriate actions to heal your marriage you will feel better and better as time goes on. BOLA TANGKAS