Part of the difficulty of learning how to get over a break up, is being able to let go of your attachment to your former girlfriend. No matter what happened between you, whether you feel like you were “wronged” or not, sometimes the emotions just over-ride everything else and leave you pining for her.
If you’re caught between getting back together and also moving on, that creates a conflict and you need to break the cycle. You need to go through threshold.
Only carry on reading this and do this exercise if you truly want to get rid of any lingering attachment to your ex. This is a powerful technique from the Master, Richard Bandler.I’d recommend doing this one on your own, because it could be painful, but it works.
Speed is king with this exercise, so read the whole thing through first, follow it to the letter and then do it quickly.
1. Remember a time when you really felt in love with your ex. Create an imaginary still photograph of her from that time. If you have a real photograph, use that instead. Put it to one side for now.
2. Remember four separate occasions when you felt upset or mad at something she did. Even better if you have a time when you were repulsed by her. Write those down.
3. Now get each one of those four unpleasant memories up on an imaginary theatre screen in your mind and run them fully associated (with you in the film, looking, hearing and feeling as you did through your own senses) and re-live the negative emotions in the first person.
4. Make each memory big, bright, close-up, powerful and loud – the more intense the better. Now run them all back to back until you’ve created one large, movie of all four events running back to back without any break.
5. Run the new movie through, feel as bad as you can and then look at her picture.
Do this as often as you wish, although most guys find it works first time through. If you’re serious about how to get over a breakup, this is one of the most powerful techniques you can practice. What you must do when you’re through, is imagine all of those negative feelings, sounds and pictures floating away into your past and getting smaller and smaller and less intense. You don’t need to carry that stuff around with you after it’s done its job.
Now make one final decision. A decision that it’s over. You don’t need her. She’s in your past and you’re 100% committed to building and enjoying a new life without her. Get used to this new found freedom of going through threshold and putting her into your past.
This will seems like a strange thing to do, but be assured that it works. When you do this you create a new neuro-association with your ex – one that feels definitely not like being in love with her. Discovering how to get over a break up requires changes to your thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Begin with this change in thinking and feeling and notice how other things start to follow.