We start out in marriage so close and intimate. Then, over time, things can get more mechanical and stale between us. We start to drift apart and feel less loved and appreciated by our mate. Is this normal, and is there anything you can do about it if it is happening in your marriage?
Yes, it is normal in all long term relationships to experience relationship drift. It is normal for the passion to fade and for responsibilities and burdens to replace the love and pleasure you used to take in each other. It is normal, and it of course can be deadly to your marriage. The less you enjoy and play with each other, the greater the chance for divorce or an affair. What can you do?
The first thing you can do to cure relationship drift is simple, fun and yet very powerful. And that is to PLAY more with your mate. When you first got together with your spouse, you played a lot. Dinner, sex, movies, etc. You both had a lot of fun. Then over time you probably stopped playing very much. Some marriages can lose almost all play between spouses over several years.
It’s not hard to play more in your marriage, though it will take some focus. One easy way is to set up a date night once a week. On this night you simply spend some quality fun time with your spouse doing things you both enjoy.
You have to make this time special with your mate. No complaining about work or the kids. Make your date a time to enjoy each other and focus on relaxing and having a good time together.
A second powerful way to reverse relationship drift is through sex. Sex can become someone stale and mechanical over time. You want to keep it fresh and passionate. You don’t have to try every position in the kama sutra or anything. Great sex is not about new positions, usually.
One nice and simple approach to having better marital sex is to schedule time for it when you aren’t both exhausted from all your daily activities. Make time when you both feel more alive and passionate. Then focus some of that energy on pleasing your spouse in the way you know they like to be pleased. You’ll likely begin to see immediate returns!
These two tips can begin to turn around relationship drift. Adding more play back into your love life can quickly improve your marriage. Your mate is just like you. They want to have fun, feel appreciated, and feel like you are a special partner in their life. Just ten minutes or so a day of extra focus on playing with them can make both of you feel special again in each others eyes.