Shake Off That Old Boyfriend and Move On!

The little boy lifted up his eyes holding the broken egg in his hands.

Big tears pooled in his brown eyes, “Now it will never be a chicken” he whispered. Big gnarled fingers reached down and tenderly took the cracked and leaking egg from the sweaty little hand.

“Can you fix it grandpa?” He looked up hopefully to the kind old man.

“No, this one is not going to make it, son,” he said gravely. “I know what to do.” He took the child’s hand in his own and picking up a shovel, turned to walk out to the garden. “If we bury the egg in the garden, a miracle will happen.”

The little boys big brown eyes widened. A miracle?

“How does that work, grandpa?”

“Nothing is wasted, everything has value. Some people see the broken shell and they cry. The Wise Ones taught us that brokenness is precious. They taught that what we DO with the brokenness is what is important.”

“But if the egg is broken, the dream is gone.” said the child with his head bowed.

The old farmer dug a small hole next to a young maple sapling. “You see, if we place the egg into the ground, it will feed the tree and the life of the chicken will be part of the tree.”

“Life is in everything,” he said, as he tamped the dirt around the sapling. “Imagine how the tree feels to be cared for by us and the egg that didn’t become a chicken.”

“It feels good to be loved.” said the child.

The old man reached down and stroked the child’s hair. “Yes, he said, it feels good to be loved.” He hoisted the shovel over his shoulder and holding the child’s hand, walked back toward the house.

Why is it so hard to say good bye to those past relationships that hold us back from finding new love? Isn’t the memory of a past hurt like that broken egg? Why do we hold on to things that have no more value, no more beauty…no more life?

No, you say, that thing that happened was WAY worse than a broken egg. Was it?

Sure you had your feelings hurt. There may have been betrayal and heartbreak. You may have thought you had found your soul mate. I don’t mean to belittle your relationship dramas and traumas. I know they hurt. But it is what you DO with what’s left that makes the difference.

Where can you bury YOUR empty shells? Finding someone who needs your help is a great way to start. There is nothing like volunteering to help someone less fortunate than you to snap you back to reality.

Instead of telling your story over and over and over again, make a plan. Vent if you must….for twenty minutes….no more. Then write one more final version of the drama and burn it, flush it or tear it into tiny pieces. Move on and move up to better feeling thoughts.

Was the child foolish to weep for the chicken that never would be? Aren’t you doing the same thing weeping for a relationship that just wasn’t meant to last? Be grateful that you were spared. Appreciate that you split up, learn from the experience and move on. You deserve to be happy and it will happen as you CHOOSE to think thoughts that make you feel good. It really will.

BOLA TANGKAS