You all of a sudden find yourself single after unexpectedly being dumped. You will find that during this difficult time you are fighting with maintaining control. You will experience anger as well as depression. You must maintain your composure even though you are tempted to perform whatever it takes in getting your ex back.
You might attempt to beg and plead. This will not work. If you do get your ex back utilizing these measures, the second time is usually short-lived. The reason the second time is short-lived is that the dumper may come back to you out of guilt. Your ex will pity you and this is not good for being the foundation of any relationship. In fact, after emotionally blackmailing your ex into coming back to you the chances of your relationship ending again has just doubled.
It is not realistic to expect a relationship to work after begging and pleading has occurred. If you have performed such measures at this point, go ahead and forgive yourself while ensuring it never happens again. You must take the initial steps with your newfound freedom in moving on.
What can you do differently?
No matter what ensure that your actions are dignified. What this means is that instead of begging and pleading, be a mature adult about the situation. As hard as it is and no matter your heartbreak, you must not act like a sniveling child. You must be accepting of the situation. You may not like the decision of your significant other but you must respect their decision to end the relationship.
Do allow your ex to know how the situation upsets you and how you are interested in a second chance. There is nothing wrong with allowing your ex to know how you feel, in fact, this might be therapeutic in aiding you to walk away from the situation. Once you have performed this task, consider your side of the situation as ended. Do not throw up things which you feel are reasons for your ex ending your relationship, this only creates animosity and will result in both of you merely being angry.
You need to understand that even though your ex has just ended the relationship that there is a possibility they will change their mind. You can not hold out for your ex changing their mind in ending the relationship but do understand that if that the chance of having your ex back will rely on how you handled the initial breakup.
You cannot argue logic to someone who does not want in a relationship with you. Emotions are normally high-strung and can be compared to roller coaster’s. Ensure you stay grounded while focusing on the feelings you have for your ex while displaying maturity that even they will admire.
Do not demand answers
Your ex does not have to inform you why they ended the relationship. It is very nice if they perform this measure but do not expect the whole truth when this occurs. Respect their decision no matter what they inform you. This means you have to let them go. Focus yourself on picking up the pieces while moving on.
After the relationship is officially over, you will find yourself asking many pertinent questions. Should you contact them? Should you not contact them? These are questions, which will enable you to set the new boundaries, which will aid you with moving on in your life.
What will happen next?
You will find yourself in unknown territory after the relationship has ended. Make sure you do not consistently call your ex or allow them to consistently call you. Of course, emergencies happen but nightly calls from either one of you while chatting hours on end will not aid you with moving on with your life. Keep conversations short and sweet and always get directly to the point if you have to contact your ex. Allow your ex to see you are moving on with your life and that you will not tolerate emotional blackmail. You are the one who was dumped therefore, you do not deserve for your ex to rub in your face the numerous people, which they are dating. Set those boundaries early on after the breakup.
If there is any chance of you and your ex, reconciling it will greatly depend on your behavior and the boundaries, which are in place.