The Unhappy Relationship Trap – Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

If you are in a relationship that you can’t, for some reason, get out of and you constantly find yourself torn between going and staying, then in most likelihood, you are caught up in an ‘unhappy relationship trap’.

Sometimes, we make the mistake of committing ourselves into a relationship for the wrong reason, and somehow, we can’t get ourselves out of it. Impulses, haste, emotionality, are but a few of the causes that got us into that trap.

Being in an unhappy relationship is needless to say, stressful. Nobody would want to be caught in one, but sometimes, we find ourselves inadvertently in one. There are 3 ways we can cope with this situation. We can either do nothing or wallow in distress, or we can fix it and give it a chance, or move out and move on.

In our fear of hurting or displeasing the other person, we may be compelled to hang on.in the hope that the situation might just get better eventually without us having to make the difficult decision. Sadly, in this situation, we are merely deceiving ourselves and our unsuspecting partner. We are caught up in a trap or our own making and we will continue to be miserable until it is too late to do anything else.

The next option is directly addressing the cause of our unhappiness and doing something to fix. If we care enough, there is a great chance that we can repair the problem. and make it work out for us. It requires a much greater commitment and the process might be quite stressful. There is also no guarantee that our efforts will be fruitful and there’s the risk that our partner will not be very supportive. But if we have to continue with the relationship, we must at least attempt to resolve the issues and build on the strengths, rather than the weaknesses in our relationship. If it’s worth keeping, it must be worth fighting for.

Our last option is getting out of the unhappy relationship with a strong resolve to stay out. A relationship that causes only stress and unhappiness is not worth fighting for for some people and walking out should be easy enough. But among the three, this is the hardest to carry out since we need to leave the person that we care about and hurt him/her in the process. It takes a lot of courage to get of that trap move on. And we must remember that by walking out, we are saving everyone involved a great deal of trouble and distress by ending a relationship that has gone beyond irreparable.

We need not be a victim of an unhappy relationship. We always have a choice whether to stay or leave. Friends and experts are there to help us through the worst situations if we but swallow our pride and seek help.

BOLA TANGKAS