I guess that everything started out well, you went on dates, talked into the wee small hours and gradually you became a couple. You have noticed that the relationship is getting a bit stale and not moving forward. You might have you own ideas where you would like the relationship to go, such as marriage but your partner is resisting them. It is difficult to know when to walk away from a going nowhere relationship, it is also very difficult to both physically and mentally make the break.
There are two situations in which you should leave and that is where you are suffering physical or mental abuse. You have to take care of your own safety, this is even more important if you have kids. If you are suffering mental abuse then for the sake of your sanity leave. In both cases if your partners loved you then they would not do this to you. In a healthy relationship you are both equal partners, not one subservient to the other.
Have you noticed then you do not have a lot to talk about anymore? Have you noticed that you are not spending as much time together with your partner? Are you unable to do anything right? Has your partner started to reminisce about previous relationships? Has your partner told you that they do not think that you are the one? Do they ignore you in public and do you have issues that you are unable to solve? This all suggests that your relationship is at the very least struggling. A lot of your relationship problems could be down to a lack of communication and quality time spent together. There was obviously something that drew you both together and that spark is still flickering it could be worth trying to fix things.
If you have been trying to fix things but the problems just keep dragging on month after month then you need to face reality and call it a day. Everyone knows that you have to invest time and energy into a relationship in order to make it work, but it should never be a never ending struggle. There are two of you in the relationship and you both have an equal responsibility to make it work, you cannot do it all alone. You need to sit down with your partner and calmly and rationally talk things through with them. It is possible that you might be able to make a start at working through your issues, but if your partner does not want to talk then do they really care.
Knowing that it is time to go and actually making the physical decision are two different worlds. There are far to many people in relationships going nowhere who stay because they are scared of the unknown. Even a relationship where you are clearly both incompatible has more sense of stability and security than being in the big wide world, alone. Up to this point you will have invested a lot of time, energy and emotion into the relationship, how do you convince yourself that all those months or maybe years has come to nothing and has to end. The problem is, if it is time to call it a day, the more time that you spend trying to make it work, the more difficult it will be to walk away.
Have you considered whether or not you are really compatible with each other. Do you share any interests, ideas, hobbies. Do you do things together or is it the case that you both just live at the same address. I do not know how developed your problems are but if you are still able to do things together, then you might be able to reconnect. If it has reached the stage where you are unable to spend quality time together then your relationship is at best an unhealthy one.
There is no shame in saying that your relationship has come to an end. That is life, not everyone is compatible. If your partner has makes it clear that they have no interest in you wants and needs, if you have done everything that you can to make your relationship work and it is still not happening, then I would strongly suggest that you call it a day. In my eyes the real shame is not in ending the relationship but continuing to waste your life in a never ending circle of conflict, misery and depression. A healthy relationship is built on friendship, on happiness and always focusing on the positive. I really hope that if you are unable to turn your current relationship around that you can find someone with who you can build a healthy, happy, long term future.
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