Your Life Purpose

“If only I could figure out what my purpose is, then everything would be okay.”

This is a common statement that I hear from many women – and it’s a good indicator to me that they are avoiding something else – and possibly running away from something that needs to be looked at.

You can imagine the radio silence and surprise on the other end of the phone when I reply with compassionate candor and ask the: “What if you’re already living your purpose?”

“What do you mean?” is a typical reply – or I’ll hear, “I can’t be, I’m so unhappy, and discontented and un-fulfilled!”.

Boy, do I know those feelings. And because I know how it feels directly, I have immense compassion and empathy for anyone whose searching for answers and can’t seem to find them – and – are prone to look outside of themselves for the answers.

The thing is – your purpose isn’t outside of yourself – it’s not in the self-help section with the latest book that promises you to a quick-hit on what you should do. It’s also not in the business plan, the latest and greatest marketing program, or even in the workshop that promises you that you’ll find it.

Now, you may wonder – how can I say this when this is what I ‘do’ for a living and it’s part of my own purpose!?!?

Well, my purpose isn’t to give you answers, it’s to help you find them. My purpose and mission in life is to also help you understand how you are already living your purpose everyday – because whatever you’re facing right now and whatever you’ve faced in the past, is perfect for your unique life recipe, and it’s perfect in serving you with what you’re here to ‘do’, share and ‘be’ in this world.

It’s true. If you’re struggling a bit- or maybe you’re flailing with frustration, doubt, and anxiety – take a breath and know – it’s all good. It’s all there to show you something – and it all contributes to your life purpose.

The truth is – many women come to me and say: “I want to have my name in lights!”, or, “I want to speak on stage to thousands of people.”, or, “I want to be on Oprah!”

And these are fabulous dreams to have and I continually encourage every single woman I speak with to keep these images on her vision board, and keep focusing on what she wants.

Then, the next step is to determine: Why you want it.

What would it mean to have your name in lights, to get on Oprah, or to speak on stage, or write the book? Would it mean that you are somebody, finally? Would it mean you finally ‘made it’?

The thing to know is: You’ve already made it. You’re here on this planet. You were born. And- you were born into the perfect family, had the perfect life experiences, and have endured the perfect situations to make up the recipe of YOU – so far.

Yet, your past doesn’t define you – it only helps shape who you’ll become and what you’re here to share with the world.

And what I find through my own personal experience, and with the women I work with privately and in workshops, is those of us who’ve endured lots of adversity in our lives, are here to overcome, endure and then help others do the same.

To help solidify this concept, here is a quote that flowed out of me a few months back. I hope it speaks to your heart like it does mine – and I hope, that you know, that if you’ve been served some difficult stuff in your lifetime, there is purpose in that pain, it’s simply seeing it from that lens that makes all the difference:

“It is my belief, and direct experience, that the women who are here to have the greatest impact, and make the greatest contribution on this world, are the women whose souls have been given the greatest challenges.”

~ Brenda Stanton

Your life, and your life experience, is your purpose -how you’ve lived it before, how you live it today, and most importantly, how you’ll choose to live it tomorrow. It’s your purpose to grow and evolve – not stand-still – or go backwards – so the question remains:

Do you choose to live-free from the past and begin to realize your true greatness?

If so, I commend you – it takes courage and bravery to step-outside the box , release yourself from the prison of your past, and live by your own light. And, in my book it’s the only way to live- the Freedom-filled way!

Have a great Freedom-filled week!

BOLA TANGKAS